Hey! You! Did you know..?- The First Installment Edition

If you've followed this blog thus far, you've probably noticed the complete lack of content with any kind of educational merit whatsoever. That's why I've decided (thanks majorly in part to a generous grant from the Chubb Group) to every once in a while make this blog a place for enlightenment and smarten-in' up with a series of entries I will be calling "Hey! You! Did you know..?". This way, in between reading about race car beds or whatever the fuck is on here, you can learn a thing or two about a thing or two. You may even learn three whole things! My hope is that your brain will learn uncontrollably while you laugh uncontrollably!* (*WARNING- I am not to be held responsible for any sort of neurological disorder, aneurysms, or hemorrhaging caused by your brain uncontrollably learning.)

- Hey! You! Did you know that there was a United States president named Andrew Johnson? "Wait a minute", you say, I must mean Andrew Jackson, right? Wrong! I'm talking about Andrew Johnson, ya big douchebag! Just kidding!! We're actually on the same playing field with this one. Funny enough, I thought the same thing about presidents named Andrew with a J-last name when my girlfriend brought up Andrew Johnson the other night. I had never heard of president Johnson before. Well, I had heard of A president Johnson before- Lyndon B. Johnson. I mean, c'mon, everyone knows about good ol' LBJ. Yet, somehow, Andrew Johnson has flown under my radar, along with other presidents with really unfamilar names like Franklin Pierce or John Tyler. Let's be honest- if you're gonna claim you've heard of a president Pierce before, I'm gonna claim that you're both full of shit and a liar.
I probably didn't know Andrew Johnson because he had the unenviable task of succeeding Lincoln after he was assassinated. Following Lincoln must be like following Eddie Murphy if you were a stand up comedian in the 1980's. He is also considered to be one of the worst presidents ever, being the first U.S president to be impeached. So, clearly, I was better off not knowing about this jerk off. He sounds like a total dick. He also looks like he smelled bad. I realize that everyone smelled bad back in the 1800's, but Andrew Johnson really, really stunk like shit. Fuck you, 17th President of the United States, Andrew Johnson. You may have a name that sounds very close to a better president that I've heard of, but that's where the similarities end.

-Hey! You! Did you know that Tauragė is an industrial city in Lithuania and the capital of Tauragė County? You didn't know that? How could you not at this point? Open a fucking book every once in a while. It's not gonna kill you. Christ.