This recent rash of celebrity deaths has hit us all pretty hard, leaving our world just a little less famous than it was before the summer began. A summer which I have dubbed the "Summer Del Muerte"tm.It seems as if every day someone we all know and love (not personally) is dying and it's getting hard to keep track of everyone that's perished. We all know that the King of Pop, Ed McMahon died, but a lot of less notable celebs also kicked the farm and were totally overshadowed by the really, really famous people, like Billy Mays and all those boxers. I will now attempt to give some of them their due. While the media and the general public may have, I haven't forgotten you, nobodies.
June- The Cruel Summer Rears It's Ugly,Killing Head
Dr. Michael Vincent O'Brien may not have ever moonwalked (possibly), but what he did do was train race horses in his native Ireland. In 2003 he was voted the greatest influence in horse racing history, according to a worldwide vote hosted by the Racing Post newspaper (and Wikipedia, lest you think I researched any of this shit). The guy trained six horses to win the Epsom Derby, which sounds like an important event for horse racing. His death, on June 1st at the age of 92, got the morbid month of June off to a slow but steady start, as it looks to overtake Daddy's Cinnemon Dancer and Black-Eyed Nellie for the lead.
Kai Lai Chung was a Chinese born American Mathematician who passed away on June 2nd, also at the age of 92. His contributions to the modern probablitly theory made him famous the world over and also got him laid..A LOT. So much so that during one of his famous marathon sex romps, Chung once lost count of how many women he had partaken in throughout the course of that particular cocaine and stochastic integration-fueled night . Which of course, citing Chung's status as a great mathematician, can easily be categorized as impressive.
Omar Bongo Ondimba was a man born with a really great name that I will forever be glad to have stumbled across while writing this blog. He was also a man that was born to lead, as he was the president of Gabon from 1967 until his untimely death from a heart attack on June 7th, 2009. Gabon is a country in West Central Africa. It is also country that now mourns the loss of their president, Omar Bongo Ondimba. Godspeed, Omar Bongo Ondimba.
Peter Brereton Townsend (6 April 1928 - 7 June 2009) and Dusty Rhodes ( May 13 1927- June 17 2009) were a socioligist and an old timey baseball player, respectively, but collectively, they were 2 guys who's deaths may have caused some initial confusion due to the more famous men similarily named Pete Townshend and Dusty Rhodes. Fear not, fans of the Who and pro wrestling alike, the Pete Townshend and Dusty Rhodes you know and love are both still alive and well. Sociology and old timey baseball fans, I'm sorry for your loss.
June 25th will forever be known in the annals of history as the day Michael Jackson, arguably the most famous person to ever do anything, shockingly died at the age of 50. It was also the day that Farrah Fawcett, who was considerably less famous, died at 62, which was sadly overshadowed by Jacko fading to blacko. Even worse, Western fiction author Don Coldsmith also died on that same day at the age of 83, with word of Farrah Fawcet's death completely eclipsing news of his passing. Not to be outdone (which I guess he was), Kentucky Poet Laureate James Baker Hall expired on June 25th as well, news of which was sadly overshadowed by the death of Don Coldsmith. A sad, vicous cycle indeed.
July- The Death March Marches Forward March
In an unbelievable coincedence, the first of the month took away from us yet another elderly horse trainer, as Takayoshi Yasuda, a Japanese jockey and horse trainer died on July 1st at the age of 89. You can't make this shit up! And even if you could, why would you?
On July 5th, retired pro wrestler Waldo Von Erich died at the age of 75. Though he portrayed Fritz Von Erich's brother, Waldo was not actually related to the famously doomed wrestling family. Yet, you can't help but feel that he might have gotten hit with some of the shrapnel from the curse of the Von Erich family, even if he died at the relatively old age of 75. Watch your back, Lance Von Erich (who, for non-wrestling fans who might read this, was unrelated by blood to the Von Erichs, but pretended to be a 3rd cousin or something in the ring. Sorry for the obscure wrestling reference.)
Dallas R. McKennon died on July 14th at the ripe old age of 89. Working as a voice actor, McKennon was the voice for Gumby, Archie, and a host of different Disney characters. He also looked kinda terrifying, if you ask me, sorta like a murderous drifter or hobo.
Maybe it's best he mainly did voiceover work.Lastly, I shine the spotlight of death on one Henry William Allingham, who was the oldest verified living man,until he died at the age of 113 on July 18th, at which point he was stripped of the title for obvious reasons.
This super supercentenarian served in both World Wars, lived through like, 59 Presidents, and was able to see Harrison Ford blossom into a leading man right before his very eyes. He also probably had to live through the deaths of countless friends and family members (and Michael Jackson), which has to be a bit of a bummer. He credited "cigarettes, whisky and wild, wild women – and a good sense of humour" for his longevity, which really seems to be the cliche, hackey thing for all these old fucks to say. Couldn't he have just been honest and admitted that he only drank water, never smoked, and hadn't encountered any "wild, wild women" since the late 1950's ? People who actually live like that die in their early 40's, not at the age of 113. I don't mean to speak ill of the dead, but Henry William Allingham might have been full of shit.
As this gruesome summer continues, hopefully the death toll of the famous will stop rising. We need famous people alive and well, so that we have something to strive for- the hope that we may one day walk past a famous person on the street and then text a friend about it (i.e "OMG I just saw Jon Lovitz on the strt!!!!")
Hopefully, August will be kinder.
