Not long ago, I saw a trailer for a movie called "The Time Traveler's Wife". I immediately assumed this film would be about a married couple that get's really rich through betting on sports that take place in the future. It's the perfect racket- just ask Biff Tannen. The time traveling husband goes into the future, buys a sports almanac and then gives it to the wife, who begins betting big money on every game possible. They make tons of money and nobody catches on because the Time Traveler can keep going back and forth though time, covering their tracks. It's a perfect scam! The only thing that could stop them is greed- like if one decided to kill the other in order to get their share of the money! That would be good. This way, the plot twist could possibly be that the greed murder could fuck up the outcome of a game from the future they bet all their money on, double or nothing.
Like, maybe she shoots him while they're both in a helicopter going over the Citrus Dome during the Citrus Bowl. He get's blown through a window, falls thousands of feet into the stadium during the crucial final play, and lands on top of the Florida A&M quarterback as he's about to make the winning pass and it costs them the game. (Since this is a bullshit movie, everyone would carry on as if a corpse falling from the sky and killing a young quarterback is just some kind of annoying inconvenience. Maybe show shots of fans in the stands with their faces painted up in the team colors going "AWWW!" and angrily tossing down their team pendants, an old lady can do a spittake and yell "What the fuck!?" or something. Meanwhile the other team would celebrate and do the whole "dump a barrel of Gatorade on the coach" thing, totally ignoring the horrible tragedy that just occured.)
In the end they would see how greed ruined their love as well as the great scam they had going. Then the Time Traveler could go back in time and stop the tragic chain of events from unfolding. Unless, he's the one that gets killed, in which case the Time Traveler's Wife would just have to go to prison for murder. I guess it would all depend on which ending goes over better with test audiences.
As it turns out, the movie is not about what I pretended to assume it would be about. According to Wikipedia (a web site that's like an internet encyclopedia; it's really cool), it's about a woman's relationship over the course of her life with a guy who "has a genetic disorder that causes him to time travel randomly". Random time travel sounds like a way better genetic disorder than say, diabetes, that's for sure. It doesn't seem like they do much to capitalize monetarily on the time travel either. They probably just spend all their time together coiled in a loving embrace- He just slowly runs the front of his index and middle finger down the side of her face as they gaze longingly into each others eyes, both sadly aware that this magic moment is fleeting as it won't be long before he ascends through time yet again. She sheds a single tear and he kisses her gently on the forehead, all the while Coldplay provides the soundtrack (I seriously just guessed Coldplay and then I looked up the movie's soundtrack and, sure enough, fucking Coldplay is on the soundtrack for real!). No matter what happens as he travels through time, even if he get's raped by a dinosaur or robbed at gunpoint by a naked W.C Fields, he will come back to her. This movie makes us see that true love transcends the boundaries of time. It's a powerful film experience that you might never forget.
This is all speculative, by the way. I haven't seen and will never see the movie because it isn't about them betting on sport events from the future.
Yo, fuck this movie, yo.
