A Dark Day To Be A Fan Of Great Things

It was 4 am when I picked up the phone, which had been ringing frantically in my study for over an hour. At first, I thought it was part of the dream I was having about climbing a ladder made entirely of spaghetti. I ignored it as I gleefully climbed each saucy rung. However, I would soon realize the ringing phone was not part of the dream and it would prove to be the cold, clammy hand of despicable reality, cruelly and violently jostling me awake.

It was my friend, Dr. Alan Peachtree M.D, a man I have known for well over 4 decades. Alan usually calls me on the weekends to discuss college basketball and our mutual disinterest in it. I was surprised to hear his gentle, calming voice on a tuesday morning. I could immediately tell something was wrong when he appeared to be softly weeping when I asked him why he was calling.
Dr. Alan Peachtree M.D- "Andy...are you sitting down?"

Me (Andy)- "Yes, old friend, I am sitting on the burgundy leather sofa in my study. Now, I say you, out with it"

Dr. Alan Peachtree M.D-"Andy...ABC cancelled "According To Jim."

Me (Andy)- "woah....I think I need to sit down." (I had lied to him about sitting down)

Much like being on the receiving end of a crippling jab to the solar plexis from a prize fighter, the announcement today that Jim Belushi's near perfect sitcom "According To Jim" was to be no more rendered me weakened, saddened, and doubled over in pain, wretching. What a dark day to be a fan of great things. Now I know how Plato's widow must have felt.

"According To Jim" gave us eight wonderous seasons of comedic missteppery and life affirming heartlessons (a term I coined inspired by the show). I had always thought that they could have given us at least 30 more seasons, with an 84-year old Jim Belushi leading the charge into a fantastic final season in 2039. The potential for multiple spin-offs was clearly omnipresent-a show based around Jim's portly co-conspirator, Andy, would have been gangbusters for certain. Alas, it is not to be. "According To Jim" has prematurely gone gently into that good night. Now, the show will forever be the delectable souffle that didn't rise to it's true potential and was discarded callously by an uncaring French master chef.
The uncaring French master chef in question? The American Broadcasting Company, or as it's better known in most circles, ABC.
Riddle me this, ABC. If you are, in fact, the "American" Broadcasting Company, how did you so terribly misread the wants and needs of the American people by canceling the most beloved show in the history of this great country? I don't care what the ratings were; "According To Jim" was everyone in America's favorite show, whether they watched it every week or not. Knowing that it was there for them to watch if they so desired was enough. Knowing that after a tough day, Jim Belushi's flannel shirted chest was there to nestle their collective heads into was the comfort this country needed to make it though another trying week out there. Now, without it, I don't know how much longer we got. A pox upon you, so-called "American" Broadcasting Company!
On the bright side, we will always have the syndicated re-runs to keep us laughing. Until the end of time, future generations can enjoy classic episodes, such as season 4's legendary "The Mustache" ( A hot delivery girl gives Jim some fashion advice, prompting him to grow a mustache, which Cheryl hates. Cheryl retaliates by becoming a brunette - but Jim loves it. After a chance meeting with the girl, Cheryl asks her to give Jim suggestions that will make him look ridiculous.) or the cleverly titled and hilarious season 5 tour-de-force, "Antec-Don'ts" (Cheryl, upset that Jim thinks her daily anecdotes are boring, steals Dana's story about meeting Oprah. Jim, now determined to out-do Cheryl, makes up a story about his construction office catching fire. But when Cheryl take the kids to see the damage, Jim and Andy, who are scrambling to make it look authentic, end up setting a real fire). If you're like me, reading these actual plot summaries of real episodes of "According To Jim" will make you realize how badly ABC blew it by canceling this great show. According to Andy, this is indeed a dark, dark day.